Men worldwide, and in particular in the United States, marry mail-order brides from Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe. But what about women? Do they start families with mail-order husbands? Though this type of dating is less mainstream, the answer is yes.
Pinoy mail-order grooms are considered a catch, many women marry South African men, and Russian men are also pretty popular.
So, how does this market work? Can a woman really buy a husband, or are there other ways to get a mail-order boyfriend? You’ll find all the answers in this guide.
Who is a mail-order husband? What is he looking for, and what does he look like? You can see real mail-order grooms seeking relationships with foreign men right on this page. Just click on the profile you like, go to a dating site, and create an account (it’s free). You’ll be able to contact him right away.
First mail-order marriages were registered in the 17th century and became increasingly popular in the 18th century.
At this time, American settlers faced an obvious problem that seemed to be unsolvable at first—they just couldn’t start families because of the lack of women, so companies started offering financial compensation to European women who agreed to migrate to the US. People called them “tobacco wives.”
Dating women from foreign countries was getting more and more mainstream, while marriages with mail-order husbands were still less common.
However, societies changed, and soon, people started to understand that marriages between a woman and a mail-order husband don’t have to be socially discouraged.
There are certain countries where many so-called mail-order men are intentionally looking for a perfect match in another country. Just like mail-order brides, they don’t receive any financial compensation for starting a relationship with a foreign partner. It is a genuine connection between a man and a woman.
First and foremost, a mail-order husband is a foreign man who, for some reason (most frequently, for multiple social and cultural reasons), is motivated to find a partner in another country, is ready to settle down and start a family, and, if he finds a wife abroad, is ready to live in her home country.
What’s the average mail-order groom cost? Of course, a woman can’t just pay a fixed price and get a good husband—things don’t work like that in this industry. As we’ve noted previously, mail-order grooms aren’t just listed on some sort of mail-order husbands catalog (even the profiles you can see here are just profiles from top dating sites).
However, it’s hard to say that a woman can get a mail-order husband for free. She’ll need to pay for online dating services, trips, and sometimes visas. You can see the estimations and explanations below.
Of course, you can just get Tinder and search for a perfect match in another country for free. However, the chance of meeting a scammer will be higher, and the effectiveness will be much lower.
That’s why most singles prefer to use specialized websites, which often work on credits instead of premium plans, meaning that the spending will depend on the users. Let’s take a look at a few examples of sites where women will have the best chance of finding foreign grooms:
| Site | Price |
| SofiaDate | price starts at $2.99 for 35 credits |
| La-Date | price starts at $2.99 for 20 credits |
| TheLuckyDate | price starts at $2.99 for 2,000 credits |
Though SofiaDate is slightly cheaper, the cost of live chatting varies, and on each of these platforms, a user can expect to spend around $100 a month.
So, basically, the total cost will depend on the time you spend on the website and the number of users you are contacting. Most people spend at least six months on the platform, so the approximate cost of services is $600.
The cost of trips will depend on the country, the season (prices for tickets may be very different during the year), and, of course, the frequency of your travels. You can see the approximate prices for one two-week trip to top mail-order groom countries in the table below.
| Country | Tickets (round-trip from New York) | Hotel | Meals | Entertainment | Transportation | Total |
| The Philippines | $1,200 | $500 | $200 | $300 | $300 | $2,500 |
| Cuba | $700 | $500 | $150 | $100 | $150 | $1,600 |
| Russia | $800 | $700 | $200 | $200 | $100 | $2,000 |
So, if we assume that you spend six months on the dating site and go, for example, to the Philippines twice, the total price will be around $5,600. Note that the groom will also need to get a visa, so the couple will need to decide who covers such expenses.
Also, more money can be spent on gifts and the wedding, but again, it’s up to the couple, and these are rather optional expenditures. Just consider them when planning your budget.
Are there mail-order husbands? Yes, there are thousands of men who fall under this category, but another important question is if marriage with one of them is legal.
In short, yes, such marriages are legal in most countries of the world, including the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia.
In most cases, the foreign groom needs to apply for a visa. For example, in the United States, it’s a K-1 visa, and in the UK, it’s a fiance visa. In most countries, the requirements are more or less similar:
In the end, when the groom gets a visa, the couple has a certain period to get married. In the US, it’s three months, while in the UK, it’s six months.
American mail-order husbands who married foreign wives have different stories. Some couples are happy with the decision they make, some aren’t, and some say that it was worth it, but they still need to overcome certain difficulties. What are the pros and cons of such a relationship? Let’s take a look.
Do the pros outweigh the cons for you personally? Find the answer and make your informed choice.
A woman can’t order a husband, and mail-order brides don’t come to the groom’s country in boxes with breathing holes.
The industry has evolved, and even problems like language barriers aren’t an issue anymore, and not just because a person you meet on top sites is likely to speak English pretty well but also because the translation services allow communicating with foreigners easily.
Language barrier, distance—all that isn’t a problem anymore. All a woman needs to do to find her perfect partner is to choose the right destination country, plan her budget, and develop an effective strategy.
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